Angee: Your story matters

Think Tank podcast

Title: Angee: Your story matters

Speaker: Amy Hopkins, Clinical Writer and Liason

Amy: When we hear a story that resonates with something we're going through in our own lives, we feel less alone. And when that story shares what the person did to feel better, we may learn ways to get the help we need ourselves. Telling our stories brings us together because our stories matter. Welcome to the Think Tank podcast.

Hello, everyone. This is Amy and I'm here with Angee. We both strongly believe that talking about our mental health is important because when we do, we feel less alone and we can learn ways to feel better. So Angee, thank you for being here and for sharing your story.

Angee: Hey, Amy. Yeah, I'm glad to be here. Glad to talk about it.

Amy: So you recently shared with me that you were going through a difficult time in your life. Can you tell me and tell the listeners a little bit about what was going on?

Angee: I was going through a lot of stress at work. There was a lot of changes going on in the organization. There was changes in my role as well. And then on top of that, I was managing a huge project that had a lot of stress. It took a lot of time, a lot of energy. I was putting in a lot of extra hours and really feeling a lot of stress and a lot of anxiety from all of the energy that I was putting into that and not putting any energy into myself.

Amy: When did you know that the stress and anxiety was more than you can handle and that you needed to reach out and get some support?

Angee: Yeah, that's a really good question. And actually, I think the way I recognized it was from how I was feeling. I was feeling a lot of burnout, stress and anxiety. It was impacting my sleep. I was having broken sleep, waking up in the middle of the night, just having some more nightmares.

Sometimes I would have insomnia. I couldn't sleep, wouldn't go to bed till 2:00 in the morning. And then I have to wake up early in the morning to get to work. So that was just antagonizing my stress and anxiety. It was impacting my relationship. I was arguing more because Chris would want to do more fun things and be like, "I got to work on this till nine o'clock at night." I'd work till 9:00 or 10:00, and then I'd start making dinner and we'd be eating later. And that's terrible for your house to eat that late at night, but we were doing that pretty regularly and it was frustrating for him.

And so that was causing arguments. We were doing less social things. We did a lot less vacations. I think we did one vacation last year. It was just a small little mini vacation, and I wasn't seeing my kids as much either. We were doing our regular brunch things and that had fallen back. Gosh, sounds terrible when I think about all the things that it was impacting, but my daily well-being too. I was skipping workouts because I do a regular workout on a regular basis, and I had skipped a couple of those because when you don't sleep at night and you got to get up early, it's hard to do that workout first thing in the morning.

Amy: Yeah, you were completely out of balance and pretty much, it sounds like all areas of your life, your focus was on work and work was probably stressful. And so while you're at work, you're miserable and stretched and exhausted, and then you're not sleeping and it's impacting your personal relationships and just your overall health and functioning. So what did you decide to do? What steps did you take to try and feel better?

Angee: I was at a point where I knew I couldn't manage it alone anymore, and Chris also recognized that, and he knows what we do for a living. We help with mental well-being. And he recognized, he said, "Hey, why don't you talk with a counselor?" And that was great advice and that was my wake-up call like, "Hey, I need to see a counselor." So I took advantage of the benefits that we have, and I saw a counselor. I used the virtual counseling options, so it was video. 30-minute sessions were just right for me. It was really, really helpful. The counselor was great. She was very calm and easy to talk to. She listened to me and allowed me to express what I was feeling and what I was going through, also validating the feelings that I had. And she really offered a different perspective.

I was making some assumptions and having some negative thoughts and letting those negative thoughts rule my thinking, and she helped me think through some different perspectives, how other people might see things. And then we also talked through gratitude and things that I could be grateful for in my life, which was really helpful because it flipped the script in my head. You know what I mean?

Amy: Yeah. So you learned about the resource through Resources For Living, and you chose to do the virtual online counseling because most people think that they're going to sit down with a counselor in an office, and that's the only way to do it. So why did you choose that option? Was it because it was more convenient or because of where you live or why that option?

Angee: It's really both of those. It was certainly more convenient. I was able to schedule it during the day, which was better for me. It was 30-minute sessions, so I just did it in the day and did that quick session. The counselor was really flexible too. We had to change some sessions a few times and she was able to do that. We also met a few times later in the evening when that worked better for me at 5:00 or 5:30. It was really the convenience, I think was the biggest thing for me. I live a little bit out of the main area, and so I knew that it'd be quite a drive. Everywhere I have to go to is a drive. So it was just way more convenient to do that.

Amy: And you still feel like you got the benefits of meeting with a counselor, even though you weren't sitting in an office and you were right there in front of each other.

Angee: Totally. Totally. Part of therapy is being able to establish that therapeutic alliance, and I think that she did a really good job with that. I really felt her calming demeanor and her calm voice, and I really felt that she was very caring. So yeah, I totally felt like it worked well for me. It's not for everybody, but for me, it worked really, really well.

Amy: That's great. What would you say to someone who was struggling about the importance of reaching out and getting support when you need it?

Angee: Just know you're not alone. I think that's where I was faulting a little. I thought, "I'm strong. I have to do this on my own. It's weak to reach out for counseling." And it's funny that I was thinking that myself. I was self-stigmatizing myself, right? And when Chris was like, "Hey, maybe you should talk to a counselor," I was like, "Oh. Yeah, that's right. That's a wonderful idea," and it helped a lot. And beyond counseling, there are other resources that you can use. Like 988 is a great one. You can text that at any time. If you feel like you're in crisis and just need someone right then, you can also call that number. So there's a lot of different benefits and things that you can do.

And with therapy, you certainly can do in-person. You can do virtual, you can do phone counseling. There's a lot of different options. So I just encourage people to know that you're not alone. There are resources out there to help and people that want to help you.

Amy: If you're struggling with life changes, feeling overwhelmed, burned out or stressed out, know you're not alone. Life throws a lot at us, but also know there's help available to you. Talk to your doctor. See a mental health professional. Try online or virtual therapy like Angee did. Find what works for you because you deserve to feel better. Thanks for being here, and I'll see you next time on the Think Tank podcast.

Disclaimer: The Think Tank Podcast is brought to you by Resources for Living and developed by The Think Tank Podcast team. It features Amy Hopkins, Brig Dunsmore, Angela Bell, Leslie Zachariah, Emily Lockamy and Narciso Bowman. If you need support managing life's issues, know there's help available. Check with your human resources to learn more about benefits that can support your mental wellbeing. And remember, if you are in a mental health crisis, please call or text 988 to connect with the crisis lifeline.